Three shots of espresso.

I'm having problems getting used to American coffee. Spaniards know how to start the morning right, a shot of espresso with a little milk on top. Every morning in Granada my friends and I would stop a a cute little café called Aroma y Sabor. We would sip our café con leche and by the time we left we felt like we could conquer the world. We were ready to take on the day with full force. Now, here in sit.. In my cold apartment in Wisconsin drinking my favored water aka coffee. No matter how many scoops of grounds I put in, it still comes out tasting the same. Water. Yesterday I was confused because I thought my coffee machine was broken..but nope, I just need the strong stuff. Jet lag causes me to need the strong stuff bad, therefore I walked to the closest coffee shop and had a cappuccino with three shots of espresso. That caused to me to have a short lived high, then I crashed terribly. Next time, I'll just stick to one. As soon as I find a job I am using my first paycheck to buy an espresso machine. I figure it'll pay off in the long run. So there, now i'm motivated to force myself out of my apartment into the bitter cold and fill out dozens of applications.

I miss my spanish life. The narrow streets, flamenco dancing, siestas, the friendly carefree atmosphere..and, por supuesto the coffee.

It's life's little let downs, spontaneity

Granada, Espana

Home. Why does home have to be that place where you grew up. Of course, home is where your family is. However, it's inevitable that family members go their different ways. Ultimately home is "where your heart is". In Spain, I feel home. The only way for my family & friends to understand it is they loved it as much as I do, but they don't. They've never experienced the Spanish lifestyle and culture so they can't understand why I love it so much. Pictures don't do it justice, it's a place that you just have to see with your own eyes.

It's 6:30 in the morning. I've been awake since 2 am. I'm jet lagged, bad. My mind is racing. Trying to figure out my next move. Teach abroad? Buenos Aires? What do I need in my life right now? Distractions? Everything is happening so fast, my life is coming together. All my dreams are within my reach, I just have to get there. So much is figured out but so much is left up in the air. I've got Buenos Aires on my mind. Spain on my mind, always. I can't sleep. I want to be too many other places besides right here. Taking in the Australian summer sun, muesos en Paris, exploring Europe, speaking spanish in America del Sur. So much more than sitting here waiting for the sun so I can start my day. Why do I have to wait. I'll start my day, start my adventures now. I don't need to wait for anything. I'm on my own path. Mi Busqueda.

Viajar el mundo

I'm going to travel the world.

España Bound

Soon i'll be travelling around SPAIN with my backpack & friends. I cannot wait! Mi Viaje:: My Trip
December 26th: Leave for Madrid from USA!
Decemeber 28th-January 1st: SEVILLA! My old home..=) I can't wait to sit under the Giralda, drink Sangria, walk across the most amazing bridge, hang out in barrio de Santa Cruz.. & to bring in the New Year in the most beautiful city in the world.
January 1st-5th: Granada, Spain. I'll get to experience one of the 7 wonders of the world.. AGAIN! =)
January 6th-8th: Barcelona!
January 8th-13th: PARIS!!!!! We just added that to the itinerary. Yay! I have some friends there that I met last time so I can't wait to see them again. :) :)
January 13th-17th: MADRID. El capital de España!
January 18th- Home. USA.
I hope that everyone has a WONDERFUL Christmas and i'm sure i'll have lots of pictures and amazing stories when I return.

Sueño vs Realidad

Mi Sueño Interminable
My Endless Dream

It's easy to drift off to sleep
When i'm dreaming of a far away place.
Experiencing my own fantasy world
And escaping all of life's disgrace.

But lately I lay awake, thinking only of you
Which causes a sleepless dreamless night.
I'm amazed by my new found happiness
And how instantly together we felt so right.

So now you've made me start to question
Which is actually real.
Can this perfection and connection exist?
Or is what i'm living simply surreal?

Cuase i've found more happiness with you
Than in my "dreams" which are idealistic.
Is my reality actually a dream?
Can what i'm feeling be realistic?

This uncertainty can't be left to chance
It's a risk I just can't take.
I couldn't stand to be without you
So i'll fight to stay awake.

I'll hold your hand for hours
And fight the sting in my eyes.
I'll share with you my deepest thoughts
And remain sleepless through sunrise.

Cause when you've found something so special
Moments without it make your heart ache.
So each and every night, I'll fight to stay awake.
For you, i'll stay awake.

The first poem i've written in a long time.
------

drive my soul.

"You make the darkness disappear, I feel FOUND when you stand near. I know where I am when you are here..my way becomes so clear."

Right now -- I feel like I am on the exact path intended for me, for the time being. So many blessings in my life have happened lately that makes me say this with confidence, I am truly feeling happiness. no doubt about it. =) =)

My life in a nutshell the past month: -I branded my body =) & I love.love.love it! - Thanksgiving break was very relaxing and much needed. - I've been feeling really good on my runs lately. - I had a dream in Spanish last night! - I find myself smiling at awkward times (i.e. During my history lecture on WWII, my HPR lecture on violence.. bahaahaa.) My mind wanders and I just can't help but BE HAPPY. - Finals are next week unfortunately. -Soon I will be wandering the streets of MADRID. SEVILLA. GRANADA. VALENCIA. Y BARCELONA. Que suerte! My life is content. Finally. I'm one hundred percent content on being exactly where I am. Which is weird for me, I've lived my past 3 years running around trying to find something, I didn't even know what I wanted but I knew I would find it eventually. Now, i've found it. Pure, True, GREAT HAPPINESS.
---

FAITH

1. Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.
2. Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence.
3. Loyalty to a person or thing; allegiance: keeping faith with one's supporters.
4. Often Faith Christianity The theological virtue defined as secure belief in God and a trusting acceptance of God's will.
5. The body of dogma of a religion.
6. A set of principles or beliefs.

I've gone through ups & downs, i've had plenty of "lapses" in judgment, but ultimately after I look closely within myself I always figure it out. I have faith that I know right from wrong, will make the right decision, & that everything will be just fine. I have faith that God has a bright future for me. When your down and feel like everything has fallen apart in your life and putting it back together feels impossible: just have a little faith.