Tuesday, March 31, 2009

philippians 4:13 :)

I just got back from a night run and my mind is racing. I thought about so many little important things so I just wanted to share a few, I'm not going to really elaborate on any of them right now.. maybe later.
1. I've been using running as one of my personal times with God. It's kinda just a conversation with God for a couple miles and I swear I learn just as much on these runs as I do at church, bible study or CRU. The Lord reveals things to me that I need to work on in my life and it's amazing how clearly He shows it to me.
When I started my run tonight my focus was on God, then it shifted to myself, until I noticed it about a half mile into the run. It's not the fact that my focus strayed from God tonight on this run but the fact that I do it all the time throughout the day. I don't want to put myself on the throne in my life, Jesus bought my life when He died for me.. He needs to be on the throne in my life all the time. Last week I really struggled with this because I felt for the first time in awhile the desires of my old life came creeping back. I began to think how awesome it would be to study abroad again, live in Spain, internship in Peru, travel for months around Europe.. of course all this would be absolutely amazing IF this is what God has planned for my life. I have a very strong feeling that it is not the plan God has for my life but time will tell. I don't want to live my life according to my selfish plans, I want to live my life by serving and following Him.
2. This is kind of random but at one point in the run I was thinking about how amazing it is that God never let's go of us. Looking back at times when I wasn't following the Lord as I should have been I can reflect on that time and still see him with me. Which just blows my mind..how can He continue to love us even when we stray away and turn our backs on him? I'm in awe of His love every single day.
3. Around mile 3 my leg kind of started feeling awkward, the usual numbness in my leg set in. I stopped and almost started crying because it just scares me to think that there is a possibility that there could be something much worse wrong with me..that possibility is very slim but it's easy to think up these things when you are discouraged. Anyways, I just decided to keep going and praying for strength. Then.. I ran as fast a I could the rest of the way home and was only able to do so because God answers little prayers such as this.

I really had so many more "insights" (haaa) but i'm tired so that's all I got for tonight.

1 comment:

Banta143 said...

I think it's great that you can use your time running as personal time with God as well! I, on the other hand, would be counting down the minutes 'til I was back home b/c I'm so out-of-shape in the running dept!! haha.
I also loved what u said about not wanting to live life with your own selfish plans, but that u wanted to go after God and server Him! THAT is awesome! So many ppl forget this life we have isn't all about us!! As fun as it would be to do our "own thing" it isn't the best that He has for us, by any means! .. You know, we're about to have to make a BIG decision concerning our lives soon. (less then 3 months, to be exact) and both my husband and I are seeking God like never before on it. We know God is calling us out of here (Florida) but the place we're thinking of going seems SO impossible to get there. PLUS, our life is 'comfortable' now. We like comfortable! haha. But again, not my will Father, but YOURS!
I don't want to stand before God knowing that I missed out on His plan for my life b/c I liked things comfortable! Please pray for us when u get a chance.. This whole thing seems so crazy-hard, but I know we can do it, if God is in it.